This month, I must say, has been one of the hardest thus far. I can't seem to shake the heaviness I feel. Don't get it twisted, school is awesome (and challenging), the Deaf community is great, the Samosas are delicious, and riding the tuk tuks are a thrill. But my adjustment hasn't been as smooth or as fast as I thought it would be.
Let me be blunt: my Kiswahili sucks! I haven't given it my all (as I have with sign language) to learn anything past greetings. Therefore, I am very insecure about talking with people in their language. The first week in Machakos, I had a lot of enthusiasm. I walked into a shop and said,
"Habari yako? Soda moja tafadali" (How are you? One soda please)
they stare...shake heads
"Moja soda" (One soda)
Silence
I point to the corner.
They bring the soda
They asked me, "Why do you not know Kiswahili? You live here, you should know it. How do you communicate?"
"I'm American, here with the Peace Corps. I'm still learning."
They handed me my change and I left.
Ever since that day, I've realized how insecure I am to even say hi to people in Kiswahili. People perceive me as Kenyan so when my accent is heard and I make mistakes I feel a little embarrassed, like "dang, Aneesah, you're black, you should know this language by now!" Even the kids intimidate me! My neighbors have a butt-load of children who are always running around. When I walk up they stop and stare at my "weird"clothes and probably wonder why I carry a water bottle all the time. I always want to play with them, teach them some sign language, put flowers in their hair. But I find myself keeping quiet most times, so they will just think I'm Kenyan and not know I can't speak the language, saving myself the embarrassment. With Deaf people I'm very bold and can talk until the cows come home (which is usually around 5pm), but with the rest of the community, it's definitely going to take some time. For now, I'll try to focus on school and hopefully everything else will turn out as sweet...
have any suggestions?
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
oh aneesah!!!!! I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL!!!!!! I have learned how to say, "I am not a Japanese person" (They have a different word for Japanese American). This has helped a lot. Some are completely shocked, but you know what, you are broadening their horizons. Maybe you are the first African American woman they have met, isn't that exciting?! But yeah, I still get nervous when I see people walking up the road, because you are expected to greet everyone, and I feel very nervous even to say greetings!!!! Try to laugh at yourself, and think of yourself as an ambassador for the other Americans that aren't white. I think it's good for other countries to learn that Americans aren't all blonde hair and blue eyes.
ReplyDeleteit will get better!!!! I still know Japanese Sign Language a whole lot better than Japanese!!! I have my theories about that as well, why it's easier for us to learn, since we already know another signed language. Also, Deaf people are more aware of those who are learning. :D :D
hugs!!!
diana! i love you girl! that's exactly what i needed to hear! i forgot we were in similar situations, just different countries. wow, that really helps and since i know you've survived there in Japan I know I can too here in Kenya...hurry up and come visit me! :)
ReplyDeletehey aneesah! I know it can be hard to learn the language, but you know what, I think with time and patience you'll get it. This weekend i spent time with Pat Gavin and Leah at a language workshop and you know what, the best thing we've done to learn is practicing. It might be hard, but if you're able to find someone with whom you can practice your Swahili that will help tremendously. Especially if its someone you get along with (So you can both laugh at your mistakes :D).
ReplyDeleteOr maybe we can tutor each other so I can learn KSL :D Let me know ;)
Hi Aneesah!, I miss you alot! I pray that you had a great birthday :-) Sounds like things are really rough for you over there. I pray for you always and I am glad that you are adjusting to things over all. I think Daniel is on the right track in regards to finding someone that is willing to teach you the language and laugh with you when you make a mistake. I want to encourage you with a scripture. Matthew 5:43-45 "You have heard the law that says, 'Love your neighbor' and hate your enemy. But I say, love your enemies! Pray for those who persecute you! In that way, you will be acting as true children of your Father in heaven. (new living translation).
ReplyDeleteI pray that God will give you the confidence you need to work through not knowing how to speak their language. Like Diana said, maybe they need to get used to an African American. Their social skills are different from ours and hopefully that will help you not take it too hard when they talk about you.
I know you will get through this :-) I thought that having to boil the water was going to be the hardest thing for you to adapt to but there are bigger things than boiling water and bugs/creatures. There is a culture that you have to adapt to also.
Read Psalm 23:1-6 when you have a moment and hopefully that will encourage you more :-)
I miss you girl and take care.
Hi Aneesah- this is Mike Gannett, a RPCV from many moons ago in another country. I've been following blogs of members of your group. Pat Novak quickly found a tutor in a primary school teacher and I said "great going" to myself. Languages learned in classrooms pale in comparison to the skills and confidence gained by actually using a language. When I was 12-13 years old my family lived in Italy. I went to an Italian school and was tutored one on one in Italian after school six days a week for the first year. By the end of two years I was near fluent. I recommend to you two things, more easily said than done, but here goes. It was my regimen: every single day have your tutor select ten new words; memorize them; then practice the ten words you learned yesterday by putting them into sentences; at the end of each week (select a day), your tutor randomly selects 20 of the 70 (yes, 70) words you have learned and your task is make up sentences (even if just three word sentences) using those words in combinations. This drill sounds like... well, hell. Why would you wish to subject yourself to hell? The answer is happiness. You'll be miserable until you can communicate. You'll be happy when you reach proficiency. I promise you. I used my Italian tutor's regimen for Hindi in India. It worked, and it will work for you, too. As the Nike motto goes "Just do it!". Make yourself proud, girl. Mike PS Pat Novak hasn't written anything for over a month. Please see how she is doing. http://www.patinkenya.blogspot.com. Thanks.
ReplyDelete